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Sep. 24th, 2016

161cm. CW: 55kg / HW: 60kg / LW: 42kg. Goals? 50kg / 48kg / 45kg.

Diagnosed: Borderline Personality Disorder. Anxiety Disorder. Insomnia. Chronic pain. Fibromyalgia.

Monday: pilates / running. Tuesday: strength / running / ballet. Wednesday: pilates / running. Thursday: strength / running / ballet. Friday: pilates / running. Saturday: running / ballet. Sunday: Be nice to myself.

Change my name. Get into treatment. Get a job. Stop cutting myself. Stop starving myself. Stop mixing pharmaceuticals and alcohol. Stop being an arsehole. Take some responsibility. Start writing again; taking photos; caring about something. Go back to uni. Get a degree. Do something with my life. Make a difference... to someone... anyone.

Get off your arse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and pretending that you're still a teenager, and take a step into the real fucking world.


( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 25th, 2016 07:54 am (UTC)
Read zen_habits (or is it 'zenhabits'?) blog.

It's impossible to do all these things at once, so pick one habit you want to change and work on that. If it's adding in a habit link it to something you already routinely do (like brushing your teeth) so it gets a slot on your schedule and is triggered by the previous activity. Be kind to yourself. Don't punish yourself, none of us is perfect, and that's OK. There's a good mindfulness with bpd book out there which might help.
Forget weight for now.
Just pick one thing. And go gently. And be kind to yourself as if you were a little kid who needs love.

Sep. 25th, 2016 07:56 am (UTC)
Struggling with the phone app. zen_habits?
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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